Getting My Groove Back
Day 33 - Getting My Groove Back
I’m thrilled and relieved to report that, as of today and for the most part, I’ve kicked this ugly beast to the curb. I’m not anywhere near pre-COVID-19 condition, but I’m feeling better than I have since early March.
It’s going to take me awhile to process and understand everything I’ve learned from this battle. There are so many layers - kind of like those you notice in the rocks when winding your way through hills or mountains, where they’ve been blown up or sliced through to make way for a road.
To kick things off, I'll start with the very basic primal need to survive, fueled by fear, uncertainty, and physical pain. Add to that the mental exhaustion, mainly caused by nightly panics and a sense of complete aloneness, and I have a renewed appreciation for the simple act of breathing. Probably no one is shocked by this news.
My favorite layer of all is the overwhelming love and support you all gave me, and in the most brilliant of ways. Unexpected deliveries lovingly placed on my porch, in the form of comfort food, flowers, chocolates, wine, more chocolate, books and takeout food. A friend sent me an oximeter, and believe me when I tell you I never thought I’d be so gleeful about checking oxygen levels. Countless texts, emails, phone calls and messages were sent my way, along with memes, funny videos and soothing music that kept me sane. Many of you called, and just listening to your voices meant more than you’ll ever know. I also got to see some of you in person – me standing outside on my balcony often in tears, and you on the sidewalk below. Romeo and Juliet references will never get old.
There are dozens of levels yet to explore from these past weeks, but the final one I’ll share today is one that I didn’t see coming: a new obsession with pandas. Sure, it’s unexpected, but when you’re quarantining with a potentially life-threatening virus, you’ll welcome anything cuddly. Specifically, it's a livecam that broadcasts from the Wolong Grove Panda Yard in Gengda, Sichuan, China, and watching that mama play with her two babies got me through some dark times. As I continue to ponder the last 33 days of my life, please know that when we meet again face-to-face (or for the first time ever), big hugs are coming your way.