Every year my husband asks me, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?”
And every year I give a variation of this answer: “I want to go on a trip somewhere exotic, warm … and all by myself.”
His reaction is always the same: a long pause, coupled with an expression that signals both disbelief and amusement. And while I’m only partially kidding, I’m also savvy enough to follow up with a more immediate and tangible back-up plan.
“If that’s out of the question, then I want to sleep late without interruption, and I don’t want to have to prepare one single meal all day long. Oh, and I’d like to go shopping … for myself.” Continue reading
(Editor’s note: this column first ran in 2012, after endless rain and flooding throughout the Midwest. It’s posted again today, due to the endless rain and flooding throughout the Midwest. Get your rubber boots on and enjoy!)
This water-skiing squirrel is nothing compared to my backyard enemies.
As of today, I believe it has rained at my house for an entire year. The sun might have come out two days ago just long enough to yell “Psych!” and then it went back in hiding behind what I like to call The Great Wall of Clouds in the Sky.
Because I have not had UV exposure in so long, my skin is now blindingly pale. In addition, I am inexplicably speaking in a British accent and craving afternoon teas. If you think I’m being melodramatic, you should talk to the squirrels in my back yard. Continue reading
The long-lost (but recently found) t-shirt.
I found a long-lost t-shirt a few weeks ago. It was safely nestled in the bottom of a plastic storage container, keeping company with some old pictures and a collection of spring blouses that are no longer in fashion.
My mother sent me the garment shortly after I moved to Indianapolis. It’s a product of a massive fundraising campaign, and was on the market just a few weeks after a guy named Timothy McVeigh blew up a big building – and the people within it. The year was 1995, and the nation was in shock after the April 19 terrorist bomb attack on the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Continue reading
If you happen to be introverted, reserved or just plain poised, you’d better brace yourself. Your mind is about to be blown.
Now this guy knew how to get wild.
This Friday is officially Walk On Your Wild Side Day, when you’ll have license to “… do something no one would ever expect you to do. Embrace your inner wild streak – wear nothing but neon pink, dye your hair green, or show everybody who ever said you couldn’t that you could.” Continue reading
Queen front man Freddie Mercury has to be singing in his grave. Another one bites the dust.
Rob Portman has a change of heart.
Sen. Rob Portman, high-profile conservative Republican from Ohio, has reversed his position on same-sex marriage. This changing-of-the-mind comes after a personal (and I’m sure complicated) journey with his adult gay son, who came out of his prohibitive closet two years ago. Continue reading
Have you heard about all the fuss? Some of Yahoo’s employees are now saying, “YaBOOooo!” after receiving a certain memo last week, asking staff to report to duty – in person and at the office – rather than continue to work from home with flexible conditions.
Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer
Chief Executive Officer Marissa Mayer is at the center of this debate, who just last year took over the reins of the company (the fifth CEO in four years), and also worked from her California home during the weeks following the birth of her first child. To add to the mix, Mayer has since built a nursery right next to her office, allowing her to bring along her four-month-old son, Macallister, to the office. Continue reading
As celebrities, publicists and the Hollywood elite breathlessly await the 85th Academy Awards this evening, let us not forget those poor souls in the shadows. Yes, I’m talking about that cluster of well-known figures who, no matter how popular or significant, won’t get their shining moment in the spotlight with Oscar this year.
So now, without commercial breaks or rude symphonic interruption, here are just some of the acceptance speeches that you willl never, ever hear at the 2013 Academy Awards ceremony: Continue reading
Valentine’s Day is almost here, or as some of you like to call it, National Forced Declaration of Love Day. I know, poor things. It can be such a difficult time – so many expectations, so much pressure.
The question is, are you ready? Here is a simple test to find out. Read the following statements, and respond with Agree or Disagree. Track your answers: Continue reading
I’ve been watching this whole Manti Te’o affair with great interest. As pundits and spectators can all agree, it’s one of the most fascinating and incredibly tragic love stories there is. After all, the football player usually gets the girl (at least that’s what Brent Musburger would have you believe). The fact that there was, in fact, no girl, makes this epic.
Notre Dame football player Manti Te’o
But as all the juicy details continue to emerge (and serve as delectable fodder for salivating sports journalists and enthusiastic psychologists), I think it’s important for all of us wise, savvy adults to take a moment to reflect. Let’s think back to our innocent college days, shall we? Continue reading
I was in the kitchen doing dishes last Monday night when I overheard the now famous remarks of ESPN’s Brent Musburger, as he momentarily lost all thoughts of football during the BCS title game between Alabama and Notre Dame, and turned into an on-air ogler-in-a-suit, right before my eyes.
One minute I was staring at a stubborn, baked-on cheese glob attached to my favorite baking pan, and the next I was focused on the television in the adjoining room. What was that? Did I hear that right? Was a grown man, a professional sports announcer, going on and on … and on … about a beautiful woman in the stands, giving an oral dissertation about football players having all the luck with gorgeous girlfriends? Continue reading