I’m growing tired of the pose. Oh, you know what I’m talking about … the way our young women position themselves in photos these days – one hand on hip, elbow out, weight on one foot and a certain tilt that resembles the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
I don’t know where this trend originated, nor do I understand how it managed to spread, but this strange Photo Posing Phenomenon (PPP) has found its way into Instagram accounts everywhere, leaving permanent marks on memories and group experiences.
Young men have their own version of PPPs too, only their version involves contorted faces – usually with an open mouth and a wayward tongue, accompanied by gangsta-wanna-be hand signals. But I don’t see them trying quite as hard as the girls. Continue reading
The first time I heard the term “polar vortex,” I honestly thought it was a new line of ski wear. But then I heard the words jet stream, North Pole and weather event. I knew this wasn’t going to be fun.
The good news is that all of us in the path of this phenomenon had plenty of time to get ready. The bad news is that all of us in the path of this phenomenon secretly thought, “It just won’t be that bad.”
I wish the meteorologists would have also provided some air time to mental health professionals so we would have been prepared. I guess that’s not their job. But now that I’ve almost lived through one (I’m pretty sure I’m going to be able to get out of my house tomorrow), I’m here to help. Continue reading
Well it doesn’t happen every day, you know … making a “Year’s Best Of …” list. But one of my tweets did, which is super cool and awesome, since it was a haiku. And it was written with my tongue sticking right in my cheek, of course. Because of all the world’s most excellent haiku poets, I am probably in the bottom ten.
The story had this headline: “They said what?!! Indy celebs’ best tweets in 2013.” It was published online by the Indianapolis Star, Dec. 31, 2013, and it included 20 tweets. You should check the whole story out here, because there are some really funny and interesting tweets by some incredibly amazing people.
Or, for the condensed version, just read the excerpt as it appeared in the story below:
A Bad Haiku, by me:
The yellow bus roars
Kids sigh, grumble, climb the steps
Moms gulp Mimosas
Michelle Freed Momper was one of the people who gathered in the Indianapolis Star newsroom to tweet their observations about the presidential candidate debate in 2012. (Photo: Joe Vitti / The Star)
Tweeted by Michelle Freed (@MichelleFreed (https://twitter.com/MichelleFreed)), local humor writer, speaker and performer, on Aug. 5
Even though the New Year is still, well … new, I’m already calling it quits. And it’s all because of those silly resolutions, or as I like to call them, doomed promises.
I know, I know, you’re sick of hearing about them. I am too. In fact, if one more person asks me how I plan to improve myself over the next twelve months, I might just have to growl and bare my teeth.
It’s not that I don’t believe in self-improvement. Believe me, I am always tending to my laundry list of typical goals: exercise more … eat healthier foods … remember my name. The list goes on and on. Continue reading
Happy by the lights.
If I had to tell you what kind of things make me happy, I could come up with all kinds of answers. Christmas lights, for instance (or any kind of lights on a string, for that matter), are at the top of the list. I can stare at them for hours, feeling all sparkly and amber inside.
Laughter – the kind that comes from deep inside your belly and leaves you aching for hours – makes me feel content, alive and bubbly. Happy. So do warm, long hugs and orangey pink sunsets from a wide open sky. Continue reading
When did we all get so serious, and well … boring? I used to spend minutes, (sometimes even hours) thinking of the perfect gift for that wonderful someone. And then I descended into gift-card hell.
Oh sure, those little plastic buddies are practical, and theoretically they guarantee that recipients get, “exactly what they want.” But really, does anyone truly know what’s good for them? I certainly don’t, as is evidenced by last year’s gift-card purchase – that itchy, fluffy-collared sweater that’s still sprouting tags and sitting in my closet.
So take a leap of faith with me this year and go search for some fun. Here are my top ten out-of-the-ordinary, not-what-you-expected gift ideas. But time’s running out! You’d better act fast!*
Googly Eyes Drink Markers. These cute little silicone bands fit on bottles or cans, and as long as you can remember your color by the end of the night, you’ll keep your germs to yourself. Pack of 4 colors; $4.50. Where I saw them: mcphee.com Continue reading
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and maybe even a little bit panicked right now, you’re not alone. In fact, whether it’s advice for serving up a flawless menu, creating spectacular table décor or handling those maddening family squabbles, experts of all sorts are clogging the airwaves and social media sites with their tips for surviving Thanksgiving.
But what about those post-Thanksgiving hours? You know … after you decompress from carb- and relatives-overload, stare in the mirror and mumble, “I have to do this all over again in less than a month?”
Relax, my friends, because I’m in your corner. I know what it’s like to go through withdrawal from homemade baked goods and bottomless glasses of wine. I’ve seen friendly family arguments turn into nasty, recess-worthy brawls, and I’ve both suffered and embraced countless homecomings and life-changing holidays. Continue reading
(Author’s note: In honor of poor Thanksgiving, I’m running this oldie but goodie column. Gobble, gobble.)
Somebody give Thanksgiving a break!
Thanksgiving gets no respect. It’s the Rodney Dangerfield of holidays, and I’m not going to take it anymore.
Every year I stand by and watch as Americans abruptly switch their attention from stale, leftover Halloween candy to twinkling lights and eggnog. Retailers scramble for early sales, yard decorators untangle lights, and children everywhere pen wish lists the size of outdated phone books.
But that’s only the beginning. The holidays, themselves, are part of the problem. Continue reading
W. Bruce Cameron and his best friend. Photo by Ute Villa.
New York Times best-selling author W. Bruce Cameron came to my town last week. I got the lucky job of interviewing him for the Indianapolis Star. Check it out here.
On a side note, his new book is The Dogs of Christmas. It was just released this month, so if you’re looking for a feel-good gift for your friends and relatives, it’s a good one. In my opinion.
Part 3 of a series exploring my reaction to “Daring Greatly,” by Brene Brown, and how vulnerability and shame get in the way of living life. See previous posts for Parts 1 and 2.
Ten Difficult Ways to Create a One-Woman Show … (Or, What the Hell Was I Thinking?)
Don’t think. Take the plunge and jump in. The water feels fine.
#2: Take the Plunge!
I’m convinced that it is too much thought, rather than all work and no play, that makes Jack and Jill dull. That’s why deadlines are important. They force us to take action, whether we want to or not.
Are you confused yet? Well, join the club. So was I.
If you’ve been following along, you know that a seed was planted in my brain about writing and performing my own one-woman show for IndyFringe ’13, a local theatre festival. This show is serving as a blatant symbol for life, people! Pay attention! Continue reading